funny birthday poems

Funny Birthday Poems

Banned Birthday Poem

I’ve been banned from having birthdays
A new rule has been made
Signed ,sealed and delivered
By the local Fire Brigade!
They say that all those candles
Would create such a blaze
They’d have to come and put it out
And stay around for days !

So, I guess I’ll have to party
Without the birthday cake,
Perhaps I’ll light one candle
Just for old time’s sake ,
Those firemen ! So fit and strong,
Such handsome looking men –
Whose birthday is it ,anyway ?
Let’s light them all again !

Getting Older

One Year has again passed by
Time has wings and is set to fly
Earlier i used to wait for the birthday
Wait for the hour of that D- day

But No celebrations as for now
My life has shorten, yes i know
No worries no tensions
I am celebrating Birthday with my pension

Being Old is not that funny
Lying on the bed makes us big fat bunny
But still i love the candles and cake
Would surely want some more birthday cakes to bake

No matter how old i am
I am still a rockstar’s fan
Enjoy the party have some fun
Enjoy the warmth of the sun
Ballons and bells for the occasion
To decorate the birthday boy we need no reason.

Birthday Cake

Why is birthday cake so good?
I love it oh so much!
It’s good to eat – but even more –
I think it’s nice to touch!

It’s squashy pink and sticky white
And stuffed with special goo.
With candy roses on the top –
One time my piece had two!

I like to blow the candles out.
I like to make the wish.
But more than all I like to lick
The frosting off the dish.

Now sundaes are quite wonderful.
Banana splits are fine.
But birthday cake is something else –
Especially if it’s mine!

Red Roses happy birthday

Happy Birthday Poems

Poems for 16th Birthday

Happy Sixteen

One turns sixteen only once
so celebrate in style;
invite friends, have fun and party
enjoy your birthday for a while.

Sweet, smart, and pretty too
what else could any girl want?
Another year of living life
no more just a petite enfant.

A young woman you’ve become
with music that you love so well;
love Tinkerbell and boys, I hear
and your mom, who’s very swell.

A decorated cake with candles
to blow out and make a wish;
here’s hoping your day is special
and I were there for a dish.

Sweetest Sixteen

It’s your year to shine, (name)
You’re turning sweet sixteen
You get to shine on this beautiful day
You’re turning into a young woman
It’s now time to be glamourous
Have fun with all your friends
Throw a party, eat some cake
Play a game or two
It’s your year to shine, (name)
Make it a good one just for you

Funny 16th Birthday Poem

Chocolate ice cream up my nose.
Frosting ear to ear.
Feeding candles to the cat.
Party time is here.

Funny hats on all the pets.
Soda on the floor.
Although I’m turning 16 today,
I’m acting like I’m four.

21st Birthday Poems

21st Birthday

Oh my god I’m turning 21
Now my teenage years have gone.
As the day grew on I started with the flu,
Which made me feel blue.

I opened my card and money dropped out,
I got all excited but there was some doubt.

I had a breakfast that was lovely and posh,
I really enjoyed eating my nosh.
I started to get scared,
As so many people showed that they cared.


21 candles finally are here,
I must admit, I waited all year.
So many obstacles, around tried to steer,
Passion for greatness; truly sincere!

A bit more mature, mind fairly clear,
Path in the making; future career.
Wisdom chooses an open ear,
Your charming smile, people adhere.

Youthfully bold, conquer your fear,
Never hesitate to shed a new tear.
Your beautiful actions, many revere,
A trusting shoulder, always hold near.

30th Birthday Poems

Now you are thirtyish

Now you are thirtyish
It’s time to think dirtyish
You know there are other things in life
Than “Lord of the Rings” – e.g. your wife

Today you turned thirty

Today you turned thirty
The number is quite sturdy
Not yet over the hill
But it will be a thrill
I wish you the most
Joyous birthday
And go ahead, boast
Jump up, hooray!
Today is for you
The years sure flew
But I’m to be
Your cousin, you see
I want to say
A most happy birthday!

40th Birthday Poems

For You This Birthday Ought to Be a Sun

For you this birthday ought to be a sun
Overriding all the other stars.
Rarely have I seen a smile like yours,
Touching hearts from Venus clear to Mars,
Yet genuine, as if from pleasure spun.

Over The Hill At Forty – Funny

So it’s your fortieth birthday;
Four decades have gone and passed.
They say when you get older,
Time goes twice as fast.

I wouldn’t know, of course,
Since I am still quite young,
But for you, the music is over;
Your last song has been sung.

You’re just over the hill at forty;
You went down without a fight.
Time rushes on, and soon
That “hill” will be out of sight!

50th Birthday Poems

For a Mother, a Daughter, a Teacher, and a Friend

For a mother, a daughter, a teacher, and a friend:
In fertile valleys, dreams grow lush and tall.
For cultivation, beauty is the end.
Though each of many gestures may be small,
Years of love and clarity are all.

For Your Fiftieth Birthday Let Us Sing

For your fiftieth birthday let us sing!
In celebration let your loved ones dance!
Fair seedtime had our souls within your heart,
Taking joy from innocent romance.
You gave to us a gentle, loving spring.

At 50

Empathy, the greatest virtue of all,
Memorable situations to recall.
Have no shame, if you don’t know,
With humble honesty, you will glow.

Odds of keeping, an open mind,
Same as waistline, that is kind.
Actions stronger than words,
Don’t need to follow the herds.

Never gave up, on your kids,
Learned to pick, the right forbids.
Finally, the puzzle came together,
You survived intensive weather.

60th Birthday Poems

Sixty Years Is Cause Enough to Sing

Sixty years is cause enough to sing
In celebration of a gentle life!
Xxxxx’s to the mother and the wife,
Taking pleasure in what love might bring,
Yearning for what’s worth the treasuring.

60th Birthday Poem

You used to be insatiable
You were always there on cue
Now the expression “all nighter” means
Not getting up for the loo

As for the fact you’re thinning
That’s hardly fair
You’re not folically challenged
You’ve just outgrown your hair

Lots of folk have 40 winks
That’s a natural response
You do that and read the paper
While watching telly, all at once

So it’s OK for you to slow down
You’re getting older, after all
It’s time for you to invest in a pipe
Some slippers and a shawl

The clues that you’re getting old
Are there (Bill) it’s true
Your belt won’t buckle any more
But your knees most certainly do

You’ve entered your 70th decade
But you look good all the same
Who cares if your hair is thin and grey
And you’ll suit a Zimmer frame

We’ve been together since we were young
We’re now getting old, and how
The fire is still within us
We just call it heartburn now

Now you’ve reached this old old age
Don’t start to dye your hair
Don’t think of having face lifts
And don’t change the clothes you wear

Don’t modify your language
Don’t rebel and cause outrage
Decide to do the decent thing
Just lie about your age

Anyway you’re not at all like a (50) year old
And I mean what I say
Mind you, being a (Jim Reeves) fan
Is a dead giveaway

Enough of all these insults
I do hope you realise
How highly you’re respected
How kind you are, and wise

God bless you on your birthday
Let the celebrations start
Enjoy life’s oh so precious gifts
And remain young at heart.

For age is just a state of mind
And life can be such fun
And you still know how to party
As much as anyone

So let’s make this a memorable occasion
In every single way
And I’ll be there to help you
Ensure it’s a wonderful day

The love of friends and family
Will be with you today
So enjoy the many wishes
Which are bound to come your way

Let your(60th) Birthday
Be the best one of your life
…so far..
This comes with love from (Name)
Your best friend and wife

To My Mother On Her 60th Birthday

on this day as you celebrate your birthday,
my best wishes to you mother I dedicate,
greetings filled with all the praise only you deserve,
my dear mother, my dear friend.

from as long as I remember so loving and so kind,
so patient and so tender you make my pains feel mild.
your hands are always present to walk me through the way,
you spell the words I long to hear that always make my day.

“thank you mum”, for all you give,
“thank you mum”, for all your time,
“thank you mum”, for all your kindness,
“thank you mum”, for all your love that is endless.

you are to me and you will always be,
the loving mother with an open heart,
the caring friend with a lending hand,
you are my one and only latest trend.

from the bottom of my heart I send you my message with love,
only the very best that a mother like only you can claim,
for I have the best in life through you, I thank God,
for I am blessed and privileged because you are my mum!

thank you mum, best wishes mum, I love you Mum

Funny Birthday Poems

A Poem For Those Over 30

A computer was something on TV
From a science fiction show of note
A window was something you hated to clean
And ram was the cousin of a goat.

Meg was the name of my girlfriend
And gig was a job for the nights
Now they all mean different things
And that really mega bites.

An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A curser used profanity
A keyboard was a piano.

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out.

Compress was something you did to the garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile.

Log on was adding wood to the fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a back up happened to your commode.

Cut you did with a pocket knife.
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu.

I guess I’ll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens, they’ll wish they were dead.

Fifty Something

“Do you know…what day it is?”
“Nope”…said my beau. “What’s today?”
“Well! If you can’t remember”, I cried
“I’m not gonna say.
Well aren’t you gonna ask me?”
I insisted with a few tears.
“Alright”, he said…”you’re fifty today…
and you have been for three or four years”.

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.
Just a few…simple birthday wishes,
a romantic night…a bottle of wine
and someone to do the dishes.
Instead…like a mature plucked Cinderella
with mascara blurred…eyes
my Prince Charming declares he’s swapping
my fifty for two twenty fives.

He’ll have a problem handling two;
his belly hangs below his belt.
He said my boobs were no better
like saddle bags…last time he felt.
See…they fall underneath me arms.
He knelt on ’em once and they spread.
Reckoned he was leaning forward
to switch on the light overhead.

He can’t do things…like he used to
gets short winded and very abrupt.
When we were young…he worked all night
now he’s all night…working it up.
Mind you…I don’t give him a lot of help
like I did when I was young.
The elasticity has left my vital parts
you could say…spring has sprung.

We try to get together…
was recommended a book called “Fore Play”
wasn’t a crossword or card game in it,
and the pictures were worn away.
I looked at myself in the mirror
perhaps the problem lies with me.
Surely the body doesn’t fall apart…
…life begins at fifty.

I need to recharge by batteries,
get rid of my facial hair,
buy new underwire bras,
make ’em look like a pair.
My beau used a whipper snipper on my face,
“I’ll trim it”…he said…”it won’t pull”.
So I laid on the floor with his foot on my neck,
it started…then ran out of fuel.
Just as well…it went berserk,
desexed our neighbour’s cat.
I said…”Whatever you do…don’t mention it…
when you give ’em the snipper back.”

I’ve been going to the gym lately,
I wear the correct gear…
you know…leotards with that skinny strap
on the strategic part of your rear.
No-one told me to wear tights as well
as I sat on the rowing machine.
Imagine how I felt…when a man pulled it out,
thank goodness it came out clean.
I’m preparing my body and keeping fit,
you know age is a state of mind too,
don’t ask me what state I’m in,
let’s just say…’Thirty Two.’

belated happy birthday wishes

Belated Birthday Wishes

You Missed a Birthday, Now What?
Regardless of the reason, sending a belated birthday ecard lets that person know that they are special, and that their big day was remembered. Personalized gifts are another type of belated birthday gift that can make up for forgetting someone’s birthday. It lets that individual know that they’re still important and that their birthday still matters, even if the date has passed.

Belated Happy Birthday Messages

It’s never late to learn anything! Hope it’s not late to wish you happy belated birthday!

I wanted to be the first to wish you but became the last! Happy belated birthday!

I still can’t believe that I am the last to wish you on your birthday. Please please forgive me this time. I will surely make it up to you. Belated Happy Birthday!

I still can’t believe that I am the last to wish you on your birthday. Please forgive me this time. I will surely make it up to you. Belated Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, dear friend! I wish you as few as possible belated birthday wishes!

The birthday card isn’t on time. But its not my fault. I’m an early person trapped in a late persons body.

Your birthday came, your birthday went,Here’s the card I should have sent!

Find more belated wishes at:


Happy birthday to my love!


Happy birthday to my love!
A sea around my heart:
Part shelter, part enduring word,
Part mirror of my art.
You are the calm that drains my rage,

Bliss upon my shores,
Immensity immutable,
Rush that life restores.
To you I wish to be a welcome
Harbor for your ocean,
Destiny and origin,
Aim of your affection,
Yearning of your motion.